When you’re separated from your partner and they have the children it’s important to keep involved with their lives, both in terms of being there and financially. Obviously, if your partner is in receipt of benefits the C.S.A., or Child Maintenance and Enforcement Commission as they’re now known, will get involved and will be trying to take money from you anyway. The money they take doesn’t all go to your kids though, so if you can afford to pay them any money direct or help out with costs, you should try to do so.

For example, birthday parties can be expensive and you could shoulder some of the expense there, whether it’s paying to hire out a hall, hire a disco or even pay for the smaller things such as the balloons or the childrens party bags.

Actually being there is important as well, rather than just footing the bill, because your kids want to see that you’re still involved, and that any problems between you and their mother doesn’t necessarily effect their life.

Remember, that when it comes to your children’s birthdays it’s their day and they want to know that their parents love them and want to be with them.

Clive Bellmore