Comments

1. Dale McDonald Said,

   Hi all. I have recently had dealings with the afore mentioned Cafcass.
   I tookmy wife to court after a split to try for custody of the children as when my contact started They arrived to me ina very sorry state poorly clothed ill dirty and covered in infected Impitigo. After a hospital trip for two of them I decided that enough was enough.
   My solicitor told applied for an absent emergency residnecy order for me and got it on the grounds of serious negelct on the part of my ex.

   I week later The judge gave the children back to their mother. He did however order a Cafcass investigation. 2 weeks later an officer came to see me and went to my ex from cafcass and basically said that he beleived that it was in the best interest for the children to stay with their mother on the grounds that they are now well and being cared for .The officer told me what i should think and what i should be saying. He was totally one side did not care what I had to say and had made his mind up before he even met me or my ex. If your a man in this world you have no chance of getting your children unless one of the following criteria are in place:

   1. Your ex doesnt want them
   2. They are being abused
   3. They are in danger if they stay where they are

   Cafcass asked my oldest where she wanted to live whilst she was in the room with her mother, I honestly would have thought that certain degree of intelligence was required to do that job.

2. Chris Said,

   Do not expect cafcass to change their mind set just becuase the child is being abused, had it been by a man then that would be true probably not be allowed to see the child again. My ex-wife was not meeting our daughters mental needs (i.e the mother after making false sexual allegations was now forcing our daughter to make false sexual allegations about me. (Social Services even reported this to the family court). The CAFCASS lady simply ignored it.
   Discussting and wrong.
   The C lady even reported to the court in her reports so called ‘facts’ which were provable lies, she didn’t bother to ask me for my comment or opinion before stating such rubbish.
   Final result no contact, court sideline me by not giving an order for contact but made an order preventing us from taking the case back to court for two years. ie a successful outcome for cafcass, another child removed from her father, thus concludes their case.

3. Liz Ferris Said,

   I am a mother who is currently dealing with CAFCASS on the basis that my son’s father is trying to deny me contact with my son. These situations can work both ways, and it is not easy to be on the ‘losing end’ of things. I’ve been there. Men normally begin on a back-foot, because they are normally the partner who leaves the family home, thus leaving the woman with the initial advantage.

   It sounds to me as if you have been in my position - beginning on a back-foot, followed by false allegations, difficulties with the authorities & a feeling of it all being hopeless…. It is hard.

   However the difference between you & I, is instead of spouting defeatist & self-pitying rubbish like this, I worked hard to turn opinions around. I learnt the hard way that you have to work to win your own case, and not expect a professional who does not know you, to do the work for you.

   Any allegations are taken seriously by the authorities and rightly so. It is humiliating and rage-inciting to hear your ex partner lie about you - and it is even worse when you feel the CAFCASS are biased. They are not biased towards women, you are just using this as an excuse to bury your head in the sand because you haven’t got your own way.

   If your CAFCASS officer was stating ‘provable lies’, then why did you not prove the lies with evidence and challenge the report? This is difficult, but with evidence it can be done.

   These things are hard and seem unfair, but I would suggest you spend less time whingeing and more time fighting your case.

   There is a reason that women normally win custody cases. It has got nothing to do with a ’sexist system’ that does men down… It is do with the fact that we keep our heads above water and keep on swimming… Even if there are difficulties along the way.

   I know it’s easier for you to blame CAFCASS than to think that there might be something you could do about the awful situation you are in; but if it’s seeing your children that’s really important to you, I would suggest you put your issues aside and focus on what really matters.

   Do what you have to do. Your situation is unique and there is no reason to say that other men will have the same experience. My ex certainly hasn’t.

   The above is, quite frankly, defeatist & pathetic crap - which will serve no purpose other than to de-motivate men who may do well in family court proceedings.

4. claire Said,

   i was lead to believe that cafcass are there to put the welfare and safety of the child first?? how WRONG was i? iv made my cafcass reporter fully aware of my concerns regarding my daughters safety whilst with her ‘dad’ to be told by him unless ‘dad’ seriously hurts my daughter or worse access will be granted!! im worried sick and these people are meant to help…

5. Steve Shearman Said,

   I will be brief, I’m sorry but Cafcass are BIAS and they LIE under oath. My ex wife was voilent towards me for 11years of marraige to the point of threatening me with a knife. She self harmed herself by constantly banging her head on the floor and went too far when disaplining the children. I fought 18months to get custody of my children and thought to expose the lies and help my children I would get cafcass involved, a big mistake.
   The report was full of lies and half truths putting it mildly. It put the mother first and in court this week it all went her way. I am a christian so I would not lie yet my exwife lied I expected that but not cafcass to commit perjury also. My barrister lent over to me and asked me if there was anything else I wanted to ask, I told her that she is lying, my barrister replied its irrelevate. [it does not matter]
   The judge went on about his busy schedule of 16 hours the next day and that he was going to look at my case that night for 3 hours. This never happened,he beleived all the lies, costs were brought against me into thousands due to cafcass lying. And told that if I want to see the children I have to collect then 152 miles away.
   I warn all fathers and mothers out there be careful Cafcass lie, I asked for an investigation into there report and went to see them but they cover there tracks.
   IMPORTANT ADVICE IF CAFCASS ARE INVOLVED
   1. Record every conversation
   2. Video film when they visit
   3. Always have a witness with you at all times
   4. Never react to these offices they instantly judge you. I didnt and so they had to lie about me anyway.

   The name above is my name I’m not worried about what I have wrote I have witnesses and evidence to support my experience.

   Now my children are in danger and I worry each day about there state of mind. I told the school and social services but know one wants to know.

   Kind Regards

   Steve

6. Anna Said,

   As a woman, dealing with CAFCASS and the court system by aiding my partner over the custody of his daughter, I can vouch for the fact that they look for the easy option and do lie under oath. The mother of the child in question has been in prison four times as a result of animal cruelty (she starved a horse to death and tried to do the same to a dog). However, it is STILL questioned as to whether the father should have residency, despite the fact that the child is seriously harmed when she stays with the mother (emotional abuse, lack of food, lack of water, no toilet so the child soils herself etc etc.) The father has the backing of the RSPCA yet he still has to defend himself and we are now facing our fourth CAFCASS report. In the meantime the child is put under further stress because when she visits her mother she is groomed into lying, to please and placate her mother.

7. Fiona Said,

   I’m a mother of a happy 11 year old daughter however since cafcass became completed a wishes and feelings report which was false i now face prospect of being told i’m a liar and losing residence of my daughter.

   I made numerous request to record the meeting with cafcass which i was not allowed to attend to prove i was telling the truth.

   Cafcass destroy family

8. Alex Said,

   Dear All,

   I am currently having to deal with Cafcass. This is the second time round as I had a court case a few years ago which resulted in my ex partner winning custody of our son. She had previously never been interested in him. I will be short and to the point. Cafcass are unprofessional in a scary way. the first time round I had a male officer who saw his son for one day every two weeks and advised me it would be fine for me at my interview. Strange as I had been my sons primary every day carer for his whole life, that he would feel this is a good thing for my son and I. He just did not care and was not very interested.
   A few weks ago I was in court as I have not seen my son for the past five months. It has taken this long to get a court date. My sons mother saw fit to refuse me access ….as she turned up on my doorstep shouting and causing a scene, flailing at me when returning my son to me. She then barged into my home nearly harming my new born baby and dragged our son away, all in front of my two other children. Confused? I am. She was returning my son to me. The neighours witnessed etc…. We reported her to the Police, and have takebn an injunction out against her. I split with my ex 7 years ago. I have had to spend tens of thousands of pounds over the past few years to maintain contact whilst she breaks court orders at will.
   She then lied to the Cafcass Officer at the court and the Cafcass officer spoke with absolute authority about my sons wishes not to see me. I do not recollect seeing my son at court, perhaps she meant to say that the mother had said my son did not wish to see me. either way I will now not see my son for another five months til the full hearing, because of a man hating Cafcass officer. I was begging her to see my son. I explained he spent 50% of his life with me over the past 3 years alone, yet all to no avail. I was calm at all times. I promise you she almost appeared to be enjoying it.
   My solicitors advised not to complain as judges would see it as trouble making, however I am making a complaint. These people are incompetent. In an other industry they would be sacked. I made notes on the officers comments and advise anybody to record every meeting you have with them. to say I am frustrated and upset would be an understatement. I have decided to channell some of this energy into making these people do their jobs properly or not at all. I never complain by nature but now I will. I think everybody else should also do this. Keep complaining, do not be fobbed off. Keep writing to their bosses. Write to the judge. What difference does it make, they screw us over every single time. I hope that the mens action groups start to work closer together as it is so fragmented. i know there are issues of maintaining funding for these action groups and that us men are wasting thousands in the courts, and should perhaps channel more to a coordinated action on our behalf.
   Do what the other charities do and ask for £10-£20 per month, also from married men, as one day they may need help. I think it will only work if there was a solid mission statement set out with comprehensive policies that can make these politicians life easier as they are all oblivious to the real world.
   I will keep you all posted. Good luck. NEVER trust Cafcass. Record everything. Play them at their own game. Make them accountable. They hate having to deal with complaints. It undermines their existence. The more people that complain, the more the problem will be recognised.

   Alex P

9. Carys Said,

   Don’t ever trust Cafcass. They have caused so much pain and hurt in my life, because of one woman. That’s all it took. My sister and I told her, and everyone we could that we wanted to see more of our Dad, yet once the court case was over we ended up seeing less of him. The Cafcass officer had lied in court and told them that we didn’t really see Dad as important in our lives, she also told them we done a little game, which never happened and we had a family of dolls apparently and the father one was the last to be picked up apparently of the whole of the family, including Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents and Cousins. I really hate them. Now, luckily we got the point accross to our Mother that we didn’t want to move with her and we moved in with our Dad, but I swear if I ever see that woman again \i really cannot be held responsible for my actions. Lying in court is one thing, but when it involves children of the age 7ish and 10ish, is another. That woman is just lucky I don’t remember what she looks like. But sometimes I feel like doing everything I can to find out so if I see her I can make her feel in physical pain how much emotional pain she caused my family and I. I’m 15 now, but nothing will ever stop me trying to bring Cafcass down, or find that woman and making her pay. I’m really not the violent type, but grr…words cannot even describe the emotions and feeling I have right now.

   xxx

10. Carys Said,

    People are saying about the mother’s and father’s choices, but CAFCASS also ignore many of the children’s wishes, as I have said before, and surely if the dispute is over custody of the children surely the children have a say in it. Others say if you are calling them liars then back it up with evidence, but when you’re 7 you don’t realise what needs to be done to prove things like this, and you also aren’t allowed in the court room or to speak to the judge, so if any lies are said, you cannot then say what they are claiming is false. I personally think that, although it may be stressful for a child, they should be allowed in the court room just to oversee and mention if any lies were told. I’m sure if the child understands enough to be able to speak to a Cafcass worker or even the parents about this then they should understand that if they hear anyone say anything that they believe no to be true they should say so. I know for a fact that at least on Cafcass officer lies in court, so this surely should be stopped, if not for the children who end up not seeing one parent because of it, then for the parents who end up without their children because either they aren’t allowed to see them as a result of the custody battle or their children have said enough is enough and then move to the other parent they were kept away from.

    xxx

11. Alex Said,

    The reality of what we are all reading on these websites are massive travesties of justice. The other reality is that ex partners wether they be jilted or otherwise are happy for this to happen. Look up ’sociopaths’. Children are suffering, grandparents heartbroken, and fathers left frustrated and left feeling helpless and unable to protect their children because of an organisation meant to be there to help not destroy. CAFCASS are an embarrassment to this country. Un professional, un trained, and left with th power to destroy more people’s lives than most criminals. And judges think they have power. the whole system is a waste of time. Archaic, out of touch, and helping destroy our society. Bitter?….. No, just realistic. RECORD every conversation on your phone. NEVER ever trust that organisation. They are worse than you are reading. Dont give up. MAke them do their jobs and keep complaining if they screw up… dont spend any money on it. Write to your MP and Parliament. And name the indiivdual officers responsible. take a picture of them and warn others against them. The powers that be will have to take notice.
    It saddens me so much to hear of such pain, and yet it also makes me feel sane hearing that my family are not the only victims. Still hurting but still going.

    A x

12. James Said,

    CAFCASS are unashamedly biased. I had a recent meeting with them and was told ‘It is very difficult for the courts to take a child away from their mother. There has to be a very good reason’. This is a very dishonest and deceptive statement. The courts in fact almost always follow the recommedations of CAFCASS, so it is not the courts but CAFCASS that find it difficult to take a child from their mother. My case in question involves an abusive mother and domestic violence against me that my child as witnessed. I bet they would have no hesitation in taking the child away from the father if you reversd the sexes.
    Of course the words as used to me also imply that it is not difficult to take a child from their father and that a higher hurdle has to be crossed if it is the mother who is violent.
    Frustrated by this situation I have been searching the internet for information and came across CAFCASS’s own document ‘Domestic Violence Toolkit’ - it is available at http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/idoc.ashx?docid=e99e8581-0d4f-4404-8f63-5a3b3dcd7a98&version=-1
    If you take a look at pages 43 and 44 there is a section on Domestic Violence and Gender. It glibly explains domestic violence by men as being due to feelings of inferiority and a need to control. Domestic violence by women is explained ‘as an active effort by the woman to resist the oppressive coercion of her partner’. No other explanation is offered! So all domestic violence is caused by men according to CAFCASS - either we commit it or we provoke it by ‘oppressive coercion’.
    Admittedly this is not put forward as CAFCASS own views but there is absolutely no other explanation offered.
    Biased or what?
    J

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