Archive for November, 2008

Most people realise that when you get divorced you have to split the property between you, so that everything you’ve bought as a couple gets divided equally. Whether that be your furniture, your CD collection or your house; everything has to be split equally between you.

However what you might not realise is that it’s not just the property you bought together that gets split between you. You also have to share the property you had before you were married, before you were going out together and before you even met!

This means that things you had as a child are considered shared property. Things you were given as gifts, even birthday presents and Christmas presents, are shared property.

So if you’ve got a collection of comics from your childhood, a car that you’ve had for years or even a house that you’ve lived in for generations; if you get married and then divorced, she has a claim to it.

Not even a prenuptial agreement can save you either, as they’re legally binding in the UK.

Clive Bellmore

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I was talking to an old university mate the other night who’s having financial problems as a result of his ex, their spending and his access to his child. He’s living in Ireland, where his ex is from, just to be near his child, so doesn’t seem to have the problems we face in this country with the CSA, but he is having to pay huge sums of money through the family court.

His biggest problem is that he’s been asked to pay towards a loan that he and his ex took out together, despite everything that was bought with it remaining in her house, so he has none of the benefits of the loan. This means he’s paying maintenance for his child, and a loan on top of that.

The big difference between him and me though, and indeed him and most men, is that he’s having regular contact with his children, whereas I’m not.

I pointed this out to him, as it really should be the most important thing in his life. He’s seeing his daughter, no matter how much he’s having to pay as a result.

Clive Bellmore

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Following on from the post yesterday about divorce cakes, it seems that divorce cakes are very common. They’re probably aimed at women more than men (as the design of all the cakes I’ve seen seem to be) as women have that tendency to go for something sweet when they’re getting over a split.

This brings up the question that as more than half of all marriages end in divorce, and the wedding industry is worth billions of pounds every year, could a new divorce industry spring up to take advantage of the new trend?

Divorce cakes could be just the beginning. How about divorce photographers? You could get a professional photographer to take pictures of the bitter couple, their warring families and the happy (and richer) divorce lawyers. You could even have limo hire companies offering cars to take you (separately of course) to the venue to get the divorce annulled.

The possibilities are endless, and very expensive.

Clive Bellmore

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We have wedding cake when we get married, why not one when we get divorced? It seems only fair, and makes sense. Perhaps it would stop all those serial marriage chasers who get married just because they love the taste of wedding cake.

This picture shows the perfect divorce cake, though to be honest you’d be able to get all of your family, all of her family and the friends you’ll soon have to split up and divide to see who keeps who, together in one room to be able to eat it.

With most divorces, families don’t tend to stay to civil to each other long enough for that sort of thing and it would most likely evolve into a food fight between everyone.

Wouldn’t necessarily be a bad idea though. At least you could show the ex-mother-in-law exactly what you think of her!

Clive Bellmore

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I’ve started down the cause of divorce being money route, so I may as well continue. Having explained how arguments of spending money on household furnishings can lead to divorce, it should be emphasised how money and divorce are so closely related.

By that I don’t just mean the amount of money you could end up losing as a result of a divorce, I mean the amount of money you can end up losing before you divorced.

This can happen if one of you, usually the wife (but not always) is unable to manage money at all. Sometimes one person in a relationship just can’t understand how money needs to be in the account before it’s spent, and this will inevitably lead to going overdrawn and falling into debt.

One thing you don’t need to put strain on your relationship is to be harassed by debt collection companies, looking to get their money or property back. One thing you can do is agree that one person controls the money, so that cash is handed to the financially irresponsible one on a weekly basis to buy food, groceries and whatever else they need. This is a good idea as it will teach them to manage money and won’t risk your account going overdrawn.

However, if you do this you should be warned that it be grounds for divorce! Seriously, if you deny your partner (wife or husband) access to the bank accounts that is considered a form of abuse in legal terms. They can file for divorce, claiming abuse, because you’ve denied them money.

Kinda means you’re going round in circles doesn’t it?

Clive Bellmore

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Following on from my last post about who gets to keep the dog, and that turning into a fight over the furniture, many arguments actually start out from deciding on what décor to have in the home.

I know, it’s a little crazy, but a simple argument over what colour curtains to have can soon spiral out of control and lead to a full scale fight, and often divorce.

Don’t get me wrong, most guys obviously don’t care what curtains they have, it’s not about that. Instead it’s about the cost of the curtains, meaning that when the wife wants to go for some curtains that cost hundreds of pounds, the realism of not spending huge amounts of money on curtains can come as a real shock.

The same thing can happen with any aspect of furniture. For example, your wife might want to you pay for some expensive sleigh bed, or some exotic Chinese furniture, and when you explain how these things can cost money she can get rather upset at the prospect of not having the material goods in life that she wants.

It sounds stupid, but arguments over finances, expense and money are some of the most common reasons for divorce.

Clive Bellmore

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It was the name of a TV series on ITV last year about a couple going through divorce, with the notion of which one of them keeps the dog. Dogs aside, the question of who gets what in a divorce is always the most contentious of problems. Married couples fight over money, assets, furniture and generally everything they can.

It often gets quite bitter!

During my divorce the question of who keeps the dog wasn’t really an issue as the wife actually got rid of the dog before everything kicked off, in readiness for a divorce. That was planning ahead. I got home to find the dog had disappeared, and had been given to some family who lived at the seaside… a likely story.

The question was more about who gets the furniture, who gets the wardrobes, the sofa, the dining room table and the recliner chairs that were bought for watching TV?

Obviously this question couldn’t be easily answered, and despite a financial settlement in court dictating where the furniture (and not to mention the house) would remain, some of it still managed to find its way off to who knows where. Most likely sold on or given to friends.

To cut it short, divorce is a very messy business and even a court ruling and agreement can’t force anyone to abide by it.

Clive Bellmore

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Proving that divorce doesn’t have to be a long drawn out affair, Madonna and her gangsta film-making husband, cockney Guy Ritchie, have managed to get split on the quick. The decree nisi for the couple was declared in just minutes in the high court, however don’t think that’s the end of the battle. They may be legally divorced on the old chestnut of unreasonable behaviour, but the battle over their money is just beginning.

The couple have been married for eight years, but speculation over the fate of their marriage was rife when it was reported that Madonna had cheated on her husband with a US baseball player.

The financial battle might not be as bitter as some are predicting though, even after Madonna had hired Paul McCartney’s lawyer, Fiona Shackleton. It is rumoured that Guy Ritchie has stated he doesn’t want a penny from his ex-wife.

I wouldn’t be surprised, he is rather well off himself.

Clive Bellmore

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According to a Tory think tank, the Social Centre of Justice, London is the divorce capital of the world and judges need new laws to curb their super awards of divorce settlements, particularly in celebrity cases.

The news comes in the wake of Heather Mills and her £24.3 million settlement from ex-husband Paul McCartney and recent news that Guy Ritchie has hired Britain’s top children’s lawyer for his pending divorce case against Madonna.

The Centre for Social Justice was set up by Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith and is appealing to Parliament to legislate so that judges are restricted in what they can award and how they can make decisions on access to children.

Mr Duncan Smith said: “There is so much leeway around what a judge will decide on. That allows huge territory for the legal profession to have a field day.”

He added that children were being used as pawns in a “hugely adversarial” process.

Hear, hear - but not just in the case of celebrities Mr Duncan Smith!

Clive Bellmore

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She may have had a great figure and perfect hair, and represented the ideal woman to most men in the world, but when it came to competing with Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston came up second best. Jen’s marriage to Brad Pitt (most women’s perfect man) ending prematurely when he cheated on her with Miss Lara Croft on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith.

Jen’s five year marriage was ended by Brad’s adulterous behaviour; however, despite feeling bitter towards Angelina, she’s still on good terms with Brad. Jen gave an interview to Vogue, which features in December’s issue, saying how angered she was by Angelina’s public telling of the breakup of Jen and Brad’s marriage.

There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time I was unaware it was happening.

I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss. That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.

Jen still shares texts with Brad though, congratulating him on the birth of his and Angelina’s recent twins.

We have exchanged a few very kind hellos and wishing you wells and sending you love and congratulations on your babies.

I have nothing but absolute admiration for him, and I’m proud of him! I think he’s really done some amazing things!

The full interview with Jen can be read in December’s Vogue.

Clive Bellmore

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