Archive for March, 2008

This video is hilarious, if not slightly sad in many ways. This guy has returned home from work to find the house he lives in alone has had the locks changed by his ex-wife, who doesn’t even live there. He tries to get the keys from his ex-father-in-law, who doesn’t answer the door, then he tries to break into his own house.

What’s even funnier then is the police turn up and threaten to arrest him for breach of the peace if he doesn’t leave, despite this being his house, where he lives alone.

What a messed up country we live in.

Clive Bellmore

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This is an example of how utterly messed up this country is with regards to legal aid, benefits and the rights of men in a divorce. When a woman files for divorce and wants, or is entitled to legal aid she must apply for mediation first. This is where a team of pointless social workers offer to get the two of you together to talk about your problems first.

Sounds like a good idea in theory, as so many of these ideas are, yet the reality is utterly farcical. You see, to get legal aid she must apply for mediation first. It’s a requirement. However, she doesn’t actually have to attend any mediation. When the paperwork is sent off and the husband is notified that he’s required to attend a mediation meeting, after having booked a day off work for it, the woman can simply refuse to show and say she didn’t think it was worth it.

So, she’s fulfilled the requirement of applying for mediation in order to get her hand out from the taxpayer in the form of legal aid, but she doesn’t actually have to turn up. Surely there’s something wrong here? I realise there is a requirement to try to ensure that legal aid isn’t wasted on couples that might have acted hastily and applied for divorce prematurely when they could perhaps settle their differences, but to insist on the woman applying for mediation only for her to not have to actually go through with it is the height of absurdity.

Why waste everyone’s time? Why waste the solicitor’s time, the husband’s time, the mediator’s time… even the woman’s time? Jumping through these pointless hoops of applying for something she has no intention of, or requirement for showing up for, just so she can get legal aid.

It’s farcical, yet indicative of this red tape obsessed country.

Clive Bellmore

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It seems that the child support agency’s incompetence has spread across the Internet like wildfire, so much so that another CSA complaints website has sprung up chronicling their fraudulent and callous deeds. CSA Hell feature stories of the most incompetent actions from the child support agency, complaints people have sent in and even videos about them.

I’ll certainly be keeping an eye on this website over the next few months to see what they come up with, and more importantly whether the CSA themselves take note.

After all, everyone wants them to actually improve so that children get money. That’s not too difficult is it? Yet the CSA seem intent on stealing from the children instead.

Come CSAHell.com, give them hell!

Clive Bellmore

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Just as a little bit fun (honestly) I came across a quiz on Facebook recently entitled the Best Ways to Murder your Ex-Wife. I thought there some solid ideas in there and wanted to compile a list of my own, again just for fun.

So, hypothetically of course, here are the best 10 ways to murder your ex-wife… in no particular order.

1. Run her over with your car
2. Poison her
3. Hire a contract killer
4. Gas her in her sleep
5. Drown her in the bath
6. Throw her out of a very high window
7. Strangle her to death with a satisfying two handed grip
8. Pummel her with your fists
9. Tie her down and torture her slowly over a period of days
10. Bury her alive, preferably under the patio or in some form of quick drying concrete

Feel free to take the list with a pinch of salt, or to add your own methods in the comments. I’m open to suggestions.

Clive Bellmore

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As many people have previously said about the UK, the country has literally gone to the dogs. It’s an old phrase, but a very apt one. The problem being that anyone who has a good job, owns his own home and pays his taxes is charged with paying for those that just can’t be bothered, or as my father always used to say “the sick, lame and lazy”.

The same is true of a father’s rights to see his children. If, as I do, a divorced father has a good job, car and owns his own house he is expected to pay for his own legal fees. He doesn’t get the benefit of the social workers fighting his corner and is treated as the enemy in the eyes of CAFCAS.

My niece on the other hand is a single mother. The father of her child is jobless, an alcoholic and has been treated for acts of violence. He’s what you might call a waster, someone you wouldn’t want left alone with your children. Thanks to the unique way the UK is run however he has a legal right to see he daughter, and my niece has even been threatened with going back to court if she doesn’t make her daughter available for him to see. He even has his own social worker turn up with him to ensure that he looks after the little girl properly.

All of his legal fees naturally are paid for by the tax payer, me and you.

Whereas I have no contact with my children. I have no social workers fighting for my rights. I have no legal aid. I have no courts looking sympathetically upon me.

Many times during the last few years I’ve thought that if I were jobless, homeless and were a violent alcoholic I’d have had regular contact with my children. The sad truth is, that’s entirely correct. The UK favours the scum of society and gives them rights beyond all others, whereas honest, hard working law abiding people not only have to pay for them, they forfeit their own rights in the process.

The UK is rubbish.

Clive Bellmore

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One of the worst aspects of any relationship breakdown is how the trauma can affect the children involved. Children always feel the effects of the break up of their parents most profoundly, even if they sometimes endeavour to hide how they feel. With this in mind parents should take extra care to ensure that the children are reassured by both parents that they are not responsible for any break-up and that they won’t lose either parent’s love, nor will they lose contact with either parent.

Of course doing this requires both parents to remain civil to each other and put their own differences aside in favour of their children’s needs. This is often easier said than done as break-ups rarely run smoothly, especially where children are involved.

What is essential to avoid however is using the children to cause the other parent emotional grief, which again is all too common. When an unscrupulous mother realises that her best weapon in upsetting her ex-husband lies in refusing access to the children, she can sometimes be tempted to use her own children in this way. This means that she is denying her children their father, refusing them access to one of their parents at a time when they need both parents around them, just to gain some petty revenge.

Is this bad parenthood? Yes. Is there anything that can be done about this legally? Well no, actually there isn’t. When the mother is absolutely determined to stop her ex seeing his children there sadly isn’t anything that can be done about it in the courts, as any contact order made by the courts isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on due to the powers the mother is given by social services.

This again is why we Fathers 4 Justice campaigning in aid of non resident fathers everywhere. This is why we need a law change in the UK. As long as women have this power children can be abused by their mothers and have their fathers blocked out of their lives.

This is a form of child abuse, when the child is too young to form their own opinion they are being denied what is rightfully theirs, access to their father.

Clive Bellmore

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This is the second part of the Michael Cox story filmed by GMTV as he tries to get a resolution from the child support agency.

Good luck Michael, I know exactly how you feel.

Clive Bellmore

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Nothing can be more harrowing than having the CSA demanding money from you when you simply can’t pay it. Michael Cox is one of thousands of fathers in the UK who are being persecuted by the evil, faceless child support agency. This is the first part of his story.

Clive Bellmore

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When you’re getting divorced and your ex-wife vacates the property you’ll still have a problem with your post. You see, she still has a legal right to enter the property so if you change the locks she can simply break in, or have a locksmith enter the house for her.

This means, as I’ve found to my cost, that any post you have delivered to your home may not necessarily be there when you get home. If you have bank statements, mortgage documents or more importantly solicitor’s letters you’ll need to have them delivered to an alternative address.

You can always use the redirection service on offer from Royal Mail and have all of your correspondence redirected somewhere. I’d suggest a friend, sibling or parent’s address.

If you don’t do this, you could find that important documents (or in my case, money) goes missing as your post is intercepted by your ex when she enters the house while you are out of the building.

Clive Bellmore

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I’ve received a comment from Stuart James on my legality of property post.

Stuart asked the question:

How about if the propoerty is in the sole name of the husband, for example the propoerty is legally in my name. I have been advised as we both still live there if she changes the locks i could break in and be within the law, if i changed the locks she couldnt has she has only got a legal right to half the equity. So another spin im married and my children have chosen to live with me whatever happens. But my wife will not leave. Other than locking her out of which she would hammer and holler on the door upsetting my kids, “what else can i do to get her to leave”.

I know if the kids had chosen here it ould be a different story but they havent so im led to believe i wont have to help her at all as i have the kids, bills, mortgage to take care off. I know when the youngest is left school i would have to sell and giver her half the equity. Im Happy with that but i want rid of her now as she is hoping i will just leave as shes trying to screw up my mind. I aint going as i have no where for me and the kids to go.

My advice on this would be to get your wife out of the house with immediate effect. If you both remain in the property the tensions will only get worse and cause both you, your wife and your children further stress. I’d recommend taking legal advice and try to evict your wife, maybe even attempt to get a court injunction to remove her from your property and to stop her from returning.

If at all possible you should try to get someone she trusts to support your efforts as it is genuinely in both your interests. Maybe her parents could see your side of things and help out? Though I know from my own experiences how unlikely that is. My ex-wife’s parents are evil incarnate and would never consider helping me, even when their daughter had managed to get herself into personal debt and wanted me to bail her out.

One thing I would suggest, though I’m sure you already know this, is do not leave that house! No matter how bad it might get, how stressful it may become, never leave the house.

Let me know how it goes!

Clive Bellmore

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