Archive for the ‘Cafcass’ Category

If you’ve just separated from your wife and you have children, the chances are that Cafcas will be involved at some point. Cafcass are a body setup to ‘put children first’ and to ensure that the children are taken care of with regards to access for parents. They’ll arrange an interview with the non resident parent whenever contact is contested. The purpose of the interview is so that Cafcass can assess the suitability of the non resident parent, usually the father, to decide whether he should be allowed access to his children. They then advise the courts accordingly.

The problem is that Cafcass are a body made up largely of women, and whatever the father tells them or demonstrates to them, they will at the end of the day make their decision based on their own opinions, and what they’re told from the mother.

I found with my dealings with Cafcass that anything I told them was treated with suspicion and mistrust, and anything my ex-wife told them was treated as fact. They lied about what they said they would report and didn’t put the children’s wellbeing first, they put the mother’s interests and wants first.

All that said, when you are interviewed by Cafcass all you can do is to be as calm and straight forward as you can. Don’t get angry, don’t raise your voice and be polite. Whether they make up what was said or done in the interview is something you can’t control, but don’t give them any ammunition at all.

If you don’t agree with what Cafcass say in their report, you can challenge it and put the Cafcass social worker on the stand. This will of course cost you plenty, so be prepared for that. I’d also suggest you always have a witness present for each meeting with them, preferably a woman; either your mother or your sister if they can, failing that a close friend. Someone you can trust is essential.

Good luck in dealing with Cafcass and let us know here how it turns out.

Clive Bellmore

Post a Comment

Parentline Plus are a charity for parents, and they’re appalled that local authorities aren’t doing enough to help parents who are going through traumatic divorces throughout the UK.

A report titled: “Love your children more than you hate each other: The impact of divorce and separation on families” calls for more help towards parents who are warring with each other during break-ups.

One mother who’s been through divorce told Parentline Plus:

The first two years I spent crying most of the time. It takes a long time to heal and you cannot help but involve the children in the upset.

Parentline Plus used the data from 20,000 calls they’d received between October last year and March this year, with nearly 2,000 of those calls being from parents asking about divorce. More than that number again asked about the impact of divorce upon children, and the behaviour of children caused by the divorce.

Parentline’s Suzie Hayman stated:

There is a real risk that lone mothers and their children could end up with serious financial problems.

It was really clear from our data that parents did not want or mean to cause harm to their children, but that their own emotional state interfered with their ability to do their best for the children.

Parentline seem genuinely interested in how divorce affects children and parents alike. It’s a shame that other government funded bodies, such as CAFCAS or the Child Support Agency, weren’t as caring as they are.

Clive Bellmore

Comments (1)

Any father who’s had to deal with CAFCASS will know how frustrating and biased they can be. They hide behind the image of putting the children first, but are really filled with bitter resentful people who certainly don’t put children first. They put the mothers first, as so may establishments in the UK do.

Now the chair of CAFCASS has announced that she will stand down in December, when here five year term ends. Her departure was announced by Anthony Douglass:

Jill has been Chair of Cafcass for five of its eight years. She stabilised the organisation and has made a major contribution to all the improvements we have been making. Life is never dull in Cafcass and Jill has always approached the trials and tribulations of a front-line organisation – in which we are no different to any other – with grace, wisdom, fortitude and the experience that comes from her own social work, campaigning and parliamentary background.

She has been fantastic to work with and will be a very hard act to replace. Knowing Jill, she will be working as flat out as she always has, with a total commitment to Cafcass, to the very last day of her contract in December, so this is not a goodbye yet, just notice of goodbye.

I imagine it will be hard to replace her, looking for someone to spearhead a man-hating organisation that exists to torture men must be difficult.

They could try my ex-wife, she’d be just as impartial as any other CAFCASS employee.

Clive Bellmore

Post a Comment

This video from Bhangra Man highlights the plight of fathers in the UK who have to fight to see their children. It tells of how the child support agency and CAFCASS care only about the money you give and about how the mother should receive it.

Fathers are seen as cash cows for the impoverished single mothers, leading to many fathers committing suicide over the potential bankruptcy they face and the fact that they cannot see their children.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJpHnbgQXrU]

Clive Bellmore

Post a Comment

I found a website today offering advice on the legal implications of having access to your children after a divorce when the mother refuses to give contact.

The website quotes:

Generally speaking, a court will consider contact with both parents to be in the interests of the child and it is very unusual for, say, a non-custodial parent to be denied contact with the child. There would have to be quite unusual circumstances for such an order to be made.

While this maybe true in principle, I find it isn’t true in practise. It has been my experience, not just with myself but with others I have spoken to as well, that the father does not actually have any legal rights whatsoever. Yes the court can say that he is allowed contact, yes they can instruct a care worker to liaise between both parents, but in reality the mother is under no obligation at all to make the children available for contact with the father.

It sounds wrong, of course it does. Sadly though it is true.

I will email David Terry at terry.co.uk to see what he advises as well, seeing as he offers advice and info via email. Maybe he can shed some more light on the situation.

Personally I hope so, but I doubt any solution would be forthcoming… at least not one that didn’t involve several thousand pounds and another legal battle only for nothing to come of it in the end.

I will of course post my findings here.

Clive Bellmore

Post a Comment

When I was last in court for my financial settlement I saw a poor chap having a meeting in one of the prep rooms with two Cafcass workers. Cafcass have the mission statement of ‘putting children first in family courts’, however this is not what Cafcass actually do. I saw the guy go into the room and come out after 10 minutes in tears. He went to the toilet to compose himself then came out and left. He couldn’t cope with it any more. As he stormed out I heard him say to his mother, who was trying to stop him, “they’re not listening to me’.

I know exactly how he feels and I wished I could have helped him in some way.

Cafcass do not put the children first in any dispute. They take the word of the mother as fact and treat the words of the father with suspicion and distrust. If you can at all help it you should arrange contact with your children in any divorce with your ex partner, involving Cafcass will empower the mother to cut you out of the children’s lives altogether.

Oh, Cafcass will say this isn’t so. They will insist that they’re putting the children first. However it’s in the children’s best interests to have regular contact with both of their parents. Cafcass will advise the mother that if she feels having contact with the father is in any way stressful or upsetting to the children then she can simply refuse. There is not a thing you can do about it. You cannot go to court about it because:

1. It’s very expensive
2. Cafcass will back up the mother’s claim that the children are upset by the whole affair

That’s it, your rights as a father don’t come into it.

Therefore I would advise anyone getting divorced to not solicit the involvement of the organisation known as Cafcas. They are essentially social workers with the mindset that the mother can decide whether her children have any contact with their father or not.

If you do have no choice but to deal with Cafcass I would advise you to record everything. They will make promises and claims but will have no intention of honouring them. Secondly I’d advise that you always have a witness to your meetings, preferably a female witness. Their instant mistrust of the male species will mean if you solicit the involvement of a male friend or family member you might as well not bother.

Finally stay calm. This sounds obvious but I’ve seen it myself time and time again. I’ve even been there. As Cafcass attempt to wind you up you should remain calm and focussed. Do not shout, raise your voice or swear.

If Cafcass are involved with your case you have my sympathies.

Clive Bellmore

Comments (12)