This time of year divorce rates at their all time highest, with the fallout from Christmas hitting families hard. The stress and torment of unhappy times over the Christmas break usually result in a high number of divorces, with children often being the biggest casualties. Children don’t understand why their parents are arguing and splitting up, and often blame themselves for the problems at home.

If this affects you, you should reassure your children in the following ways.

• Tell your children that both you and your partner love them. They need to know that they are loved by both parents
• Listen to what your children have to say and comfort them when they need it
• Make it clear to your children that the divorce isn’t their fault
• Be honest with your children, they’ll appreciate you treating them like adults and taking their feelings into consideration. If you try to hide things from them, they’ll feel hurt
• Wherever possible try to avoid any disruption in their daily routine so they know that the divorce won’t impact them too much
• Stay civil with your partner and share responsibilities for your children, including care and picking them up from school

Clive Bellmore